I would go w/ the 44 mag also. Instead of a ruger, I would opt for a Taurus Ragging Bull. Due in my opinion to a better/more comfortable grip and a muzzle brake. My wife really likes shooting the 44 mag. in this gun even w/ heavy loads. She has small hands, is 5'1 and weighs 110 pounds. If the gun is comfortable for her, it should work for your wife also.