Well, for a 'full house' load, the only way to reduce felt recoil is to have the bullet take as much energy with it down range. The way to do that is to use a light bullet.
I know a lot of the more recent variants of white tail will just shake off a 180 grain .430" round. But if you can find an older model one that doesn't know there are 'better' bullets out there, you might just bring one home with you.
I've a really nice .44 mag that kicks a bit. The stumpy 2" barrel seems to be the culprit. Full house 240 grains are a bit uncomfortable for all day shooting, but the 180 xtp's do nicely.
(I thought of a t-shirt: "apparently, my insensitivity extends to recoil also')
I get 620 ft/lbs of energy out of the short pipe, and 'hunting grade' accuracy out to 50 yards, shooting out of hand. I've hunted with this piece, but not had the chance to 'pull the trigger' yet with it. I'm a disciplined enough hunter to not take wild shots, and only sit with it in close quarters.
I did what I thought was a nice write up on this gun over on anther site. Check it out:
http://www.thektog.org/forum/f100/might-i-suggest-new-sidearm-258920/It seems to me that your question is really a fizix question, and the light bullet is the answer.
Hope this helps.
db